Min ha’meitzar

Karati Ka

Annani b’meirchav Ka

Hashem li

Lo eera ra

Ma ya’ase li adam.

Hodu LaShem, Ki tov

Ki l’olam chasdo

Hodu LaShem, Ki tov

Ki l’olam chasdo.

We’ve seen this all before

B’chol dor va dor

There’s something about this people you might say.

Stiff-necked that's for sure

And with His help we will endure

Planting the seeds of light till that great and awesome day.

Hodu LaShem, Ki tov

Ki l’olam chasdo

Hodu LaShem, Ki tov

Ki l’olam chasdo.

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Soon the leaves will be growing on the trees
By Dovid Kerner

Soon the leaves will be growing on the trees
Soon the flowers will be blowing in the breeze
Soon the winter will be over
And the weather will be warmer
Soon the leaves will be growing on the trees

Soon we'll put away our winter coats and hats
And we'll take out our frizbees, balls and bats
Soon the winter will be over
And the weather will be warmer
Then we'll put away our winter coats and hats.

In the Winter, like a bear, I hibernate
For the Spring to come, I can hardly wait!

Soon we’ll run around and play out in the park
And we’ll laugh and play and stay until it’s dark
Soon the winter will be over
And the weather will be warmer
Then we’ll run around and play until it's dark.

Soon the ice cream truck will roll right down our street
Ice cream cones and creamsicles - oh what a treat!
Soon the winter will be over
And the weather will be warmer
Then the ice cream truck will roll right down our street

My kite is hanging ready by the door
Springtime - that’s what I’m waiting for!

Soon we’ll sit outside and sing our favorite songs
And when the neighbors pass, we’ll say ‘come sing along’!
Soon the winter will be over
And the weather will be warmer
Soon we'll sit outside and sing our favorite songs.

Soon the leaves will be growing on the trees
Soon the flowers will be blowing in the breeze
Soon the winter will be over
And the weather will be warmer
Soon the leaves will be growing on the trees

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Geology Rock

lyrics by David Kerner

Part ‘A’ to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”

Part ‘B’ to the tune of “Johnny B. Goode” by Chuck Berry

A

Pebbles, gravel, stones and sand

I’ve often held you in my hand.

We see you each and every day

Now how on earth did you get that way?

The types of rocks there are mainly three

Igneous, metamorphic, sedimentary

Each formed in its own special way

We’ll tell you how so don’t go away...

B

1. Down along the beach you will find the sand

A billion tiny grains running through your hand

But put them under pressure underneath the sea

And leave them there for ‘bout a century

Then when you come back, to see what you’ve got

The sand has been compacted, cemented into rock!

I said Rock!

Sedi sedimentary Rock

Conglomerate, sandstone, Rock!

Shale, limestone Rock. 

Ohhhh oh, Sedimentary Rock.

2. Meanwhile deep down underneath the earth

Another kind of rock is undergoing birth

It starts as gooey liquid, fiery hot

But then it slowly cools, rising to the top

It might solidify inside the upper crust

Or it might form a volcano and then the crist goes bust!

I said Rock!

Ig-Ig Igneous Rock.

Granite, pegmatite, Rock!

Basalt, obisidan, Rock!

Ohhhh, oh, Igneous Rock.

3. (Spoken: “Now kids, we’re going to learn about Metamorphic Rocks”)

Now the word “metamorphic” really means “changed”

An existing rock’s insides have been rearranged

We start with sedimentary or igneous rock

Apply great heat or pressure and guess what you’ve got.

I said “rock”

Meta- meta morphic rock!

Phyllite, quartzite - rock

Hornfels, gneiss, schist – rock!

Oh, metamorphic rock!

4. Now who’s that person walking through the mist?

It’s the one who studies rocks, it’s the geologist!

He can show you all the places where the dinosaurs fell

She can show you the best place to drill an oil well.S

o if you want to have fun, come along with me

Explore the fascinating subject of geology!

I said “Rock!’

Sedi sedimentary rock!

Ig ig igneous rock

Meta meta morphic rock

Oh, geology rocks!

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Dinosaur in the Grocery Store

Words and music by David Kerner

Last night we saw a dinosaur

Walk in to our grocery store

Now what could he be shopping for?

We followed him right through the door.

He walked right past the herbal tea

As all the people yelled “let’s flee”!

And soon it was just Tzvi and me

And we could not contain our glee.  

Chorus:

A dinosaur, a dinosaur

Right there in our grocery store!

What more could a kid ask for?

A dinosaur in a grocery store!

We were not certain if he saw us

But we knew he was a Tyrannosaurus

And oh my gosh he was coming toward us

We knew right then he would not bore us.

With a hungry Rex could we compete?

We both at once jumped to our feet 

His eyes met ours - his tasty treat

We bolted toward the kosher meat.

Chorus:

A dinosaur, a dinosaur …

We offered him a T-bone steak

“No thanks I have a belly ache”

A talking Rex, for goodness sake!

And it was then I did awake.

Chorus:

A dinosaur, a dinosaur

Right there in our grocery store!

What more could a kid ask for?

A dinosaur in a grocery store!

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I’m a Jew Boy (Don’t Bother Me)

to the tune of ‘Shoo Fly, Don’t Bother Me’)

by David Kerner

Chorus:

I’m a Jew

Boys, don’t bother me

I’m a Jew

Boys, don’t bother me

Because if, you bother me

God will get you wait and see

Pharoah 

Sorrow

That’s all he got for messing with the Jews

Haman

He was hung

Just for planning on messing with the Jews

Chorus:

I’m a Jew

Boys, don’t bother me

I’m a Jew

Boys, don’t bother me

Because if you bother me

God will get you wait and see

Ol’ Goliath

He did try-ith

But all he got was a hole in his head

And Yael

The Bible tells

Nailed Sisera while he slept in his bed.

Chorus

I’m a Jew

Boys, don’t bother me

I’m a Jew

Boys, don’t bother me

Because if you bother me

God will get you wait and see

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Do you Want to be a Cow?

words and music by Dovid Kerner

Do you want to be a cow?

Come, I’ll show you how

You’ll daven moo, moo, moo moo, musaf!

Or do you want to be a sheep

And right before you go to sleep

You’ll say Sh’ma maa, maa, maa, maa!

You can even be an owl

And stay up all night and scowl

An on Pesach sing Adir hoo, hoo, hoo!

But why not be a horse

With good midos, why of course

And love your neigh, neigh, neighbor as yourself!

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I Wish I Were a Wallabee
lyrics and music by Dovid Kerner

I wish I were a wallabee
I'd hop around and you would see
Oh how fun it would beIf I were a wallabee.

(A wallabee, a wallabee-, I’d hop around and you would see, Just how happy it would be, if i were a wallabee.)

I wish I were a mandrill
Oh boy, what a thrill
I'd swing around, I wouldn't sit still
If I were a mandrill.

I wish I were a garden snail
Resting by a water pail
I'd crawl right down a muddy trail
I wish I were a garden snail.

I wish I were a porcupine
My quills, I’d keep them looking fine
I’d be so proud, all the time
If I were a porcupine

I wish I were a chimpanzee

I'd laugh and climb from tree to tree

I'd play and mug so merrily

If I were a chimpanzee.

I wish I were a penguin
In the cold, cold water I would swim
And as I waddled I would grin
If I were a penguin.

I wish I were a butterfly
You’d see me as I flutter by
From flowers low to treetops high
I wish I were a butterfly.

I wish I were a little frog

Living in a swampy bog

I'd make my home inside a log

If I were a little frog.

But no I'm not an animal
I'm not a shark, I'm not a bull
And though that sounds incredible
I'm simply not an animal!

But I can laugh and love and sing
I can do a million things
And to Hashem my thanks I bring
For making me a human being.

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Hodu LaShem
lyrics: Dovid Kerner

Hodu LaShem, ki, ki tov
Ki leolam, ki leolam chasdo.

For when we were kids and we’d ride our bikes
for my cat named Scratch and my dog named Spike
For when I'd scare my brother and he’d jump and say “yikes!”
I will always be so grateful.

Hodu LaShem, ki, ki tov
Ki leolam, ki leolam chasdo.

For the Western Wall and a Jewish State
For my Uncle Moish who says ‘gezunter hait’
For when Mashiach comes you know I cannot wait
And I will always be so grateful

And when things don’t go just like they should
Then we’ll bless HaShem for the not-so-good.
Though this is not so easily understood-
We’ll still be forever grateful.

For the friend whose by your side through a raging storm
For the One who’ll heal the hearts that lie tattered and torn
For this world that turns and for just being born....
I will be forever grateful.

Home on the Shteibel
lyrics by Dovid Kerner

(Though this song might describe your shteibel, it was written about Congregation Zichron Rabbeinu Moshe Feinstein, in Mill Basin, Brooklyn!)

to the tune of "Home on the Range"

Oh give me a shul

Where the Rav’s frum but cool
and he speaks holy words of the Torah
Where the davenings deep

And the nigunim sweet
And at Kiddush there’s kugel and cola.

Home, home on the shteibel
Where everyone feels like mishpocha
Where the davening deep

And the nigunim sweet
And at kiddush theres kugel and cola

It will happen at dawn

Putting my tefilin on
the tenth walks in with snow covered shoes
Then our voices will rise

Tefila bursts through the skies

And I thank God for making us Jews.

With shiurim at night

The beis medrash burns bright
We learn the parsha , halacha and gemorah
Good questions are raised

At chazal we’re amazed
As we forge another link in mesorh.

Home, home on the shteibel....

Now if you visit my Shteibel

You’ll meet all kinds of people
Tzadikim, beinonim (we even had a rasha!)
So step inside don’t be shy
And let the Lord get you high
Stay for kiddush and a vort on the parsha.

Home home on the shteibel

Where everybody feels like mishpacha
Where the davenings deep and the nigunim sweet

And at kiddush there’s kugel -- potato or nudel!
And at kiddush there’s kugel and cola.

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Ned and Netti
kernersongs.com

My friend Ned has a potato head
He lays it every night on a lettuce bed
His right ear's a pickle, his left's a banana
He wakes up every morning singing “Oh Susanna”.

Ned has a wife and her name is Netti
Her long red hair is made of spaghetti
She always wears a pretty green party dress
Made of grapes and watercress.

Now Ned and Netti have two little girls
Made of toast and cinnamon swirls
Each day they dance right down my street
In pretty little shoes made of little red beets.

Ned and Netti have two little sons
Made of burger and hot dog buns
When they run through puddles they always stay dry
Cause their feet are great big pizza pies.

Ned and Nett have a gumball house
Guarded by a bee and little white mouse
One day a robber tried to come inside
The bee went 'buzz' and the mouse did cry.

Oh Ned
Oh Netti
I'm so tired
Please get my bed ready.

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Little Floyd the Asteroid

words and music by Dovid Kerner

Little Floyd the asteroid was hurtling through space

He was so happy, you could tell by the smile upon his face

He was heading to a party on the dark side of the moon

And if there was no traffic, his eta was noon.

When he arrived he was surprised to see his long lost friend

Little Lior the meteor,  such good times they did spend

When they were kids they used to fly around the galaxy

Singing songs and playing games in zero  gravity

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All Aournd My Arm

(to the tune of "All Around My Hat" - "of 19th century English origin")

Seven turns around my arm I will wind my tefilin
And the shel rosh, like a crown, I shall place upon my head
And if anybody asks me the reason why I’m wearing them
V’airastich li l’olam –to Hashem I’ll be wed.

It was many years ago, with a burning love I followed Him
To a barren desert wilderness where I vowed I’d never stray
But I turned aside from holiness, to embrace false gods of nothingness
There were no words to offer when He cast me far away.

Banished from my home, left to wander o’er the countryside
A stranger in a strange land, like a lamb amongst the beasts

But a love like ours can never die, it’s a love for all eternity 

And so here I stand my heart in hand - my face turned to the east.

Seven turns around my arm I will wind my tefilin …

www.KernerSongs.com